no longer the victim

a few weeks ago i went out to breakfast with one of the most amazing people i know, my friend becky. she and i always have some of the best conversations, but the one that day stuck with me. we talked about some of the big decisions i need to make in the near future and came to the conclusion that we both wanted/needed to read jillian michaels book “unlimited

the book is about “how to build an exceptional life” — and come on, who DOESN’T want an exceptional life?! i know i do.

we’ve been working through it chapter by chapter… each page getting harder and harder to work though. jillian really challenges you to THINK…. to think about issues from your past that you wouldn’t normally want to bring up.

i’ve really had to dig deep inside to come up with answers to some of her questions.

we just got through chapter 6, which is titled “getting an attitude adjustment” (which i clearly need help with!) i’m not sure why this chapter was so hard for me… it required me to look at “my story” and come up with my “role” in my story. does that make sense? ha, i’m not sure. hope you can follow me here!

jillian asks — “what is your role in your own life story, and how is it imprisoning you and holding you back? are you fat because you think you’re lazy? are you poor because you think you’re a loser?”

you get the idea.

well, i’ve noticed that i haven’t just had ONE role (has anyone?!) i’ve had A LOT of roles. when i was a kid, my role was “center of attention” — i needed ALLย  eyes on me. i think a lot of kids are like that. but that’s how i remember my childhood. i don’t think i was needy, but i just liked to put on shows and have people be entertained by me. i was just an outgoing little girl! (can you tell by this picture?! that bow on my head was a clear sign that i wanted attention!)

as i got older, that role changed. i started playing the role of the “victim“… dun dun dunnnnnn. as you all probably know, i was the victim of some pretty mean things when i was in middle school. i guess you could call it bullying. yes, you can definitely call it that.

i was sensitive at that age so everything that was said to me hurt extra bad. i wasn’t the type to let things roll off my shoulders. i had a hard time forgiving and forgetting (yes, i have forgiven now.)

i went from center of attention to victim pretty quickly. and the role of the victim stuck with me through college. it’s a hard role to get out of! trust me.

as a victim, i let people walk all over me. i would tell myself things like “you deserve to be treated this way.” — which NO ONE deserves, by the way.

but what i’ve recently learned is that you don’t NEED to be the victim. NO ONE needs to be! in my case, it was ME who put myself in that situation! yes, it was ME who allowed those girls to “bully” me. i didn’t stand up for myself when i should have. i just took it. and then cried about it.

i know that it’s hard for a young girl to not feel like the victim sometimes… especially girls who are being bullied. i’m only able to realize this NOW. at age 22. it took me a long time to get over this.

actually, i was still playing the role of the victim up until the KIND CAMPAIGN came into my life. those girls helped save my life. they changed me. they gave me the confidence to reach for my dreams and they let me know that what i went through was normal. it wasn’t my fault!

it is because of molly & lauren (the KIND CAMPAIGN founders) that i don’t want to let the fact that i was bullied take over my life anymore.

this was limiting me from reaching my fullest potential. if you tell yourself that you aren’t good enough, then you’re already setting yourself up for failure. that’s what i did when i was younger… and it got me NO WHERE.

i am DONE with being the victim.

i’ve decided that my next role is going to be “motivator” —> that has a MUCH better ring than the dreaded, victim.ย  right?!

i want to MOTIVATE everyone. ANYONE that will listen! i know there are young girls out there struggling… girls who can relate to my story. and i want to motivate THEM!

you are worth it. yes, YOU.

and don’t let anyone tell you differently!

yes, i’ve gone through some unnecessary troubles in my past, but i survived! whatever it is that is holding you back, LET IT GO. talk it out… DON’T let it hold you back any longer!

if you’re not playing the role you want to in your life right now, then CHANGE IT. it’s never too late! i promise!!! i am a living example of this! okay, i’m only 22, but that doesn’t matter.

YOU deserve toย live the life you’ve always dreamed of. there are no limits on happiness. you have inside you RIGHT NOW, everything you need to change your life.

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10 thoughts on “no longer the victim

  1. Tay says:

    hi amanda! you are defintely a motivator, not a victim! every post of yours i read is just dripping with motivation and inspiration. everytime i read your posts, i feel ready to tackle anything. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. another great post Amanda. I might be addicted to your blog now.. I always look forward to your updates! ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. You are such a beautiful person Amanda, I mean it. This is so inspiring ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. Elizabeth says:

    You are writing about important issues.

    However, I request that you please, please use capital letters at the beginning of sentences. Punctuation and grammar DO count. They lend to your credibility. They will widen your audience and more people will read your good stuff.

    Also, it is an indication of respect to put the first letter of peoples’ names in capitals.

    To tell you the truth I stopped reading after the first paragraphy because of the grammar. Let yourself be read.

    • Becky says:

      Hi Elizabeth,

      Not capitalizing words is actually an expression of voice. If you’re familiar with the famous 20th century poet E.E. Cummings, you should know that much of his work was written in all lowercase (though there is debate as to whether he should be referred to as “e.e.” or “E.E.”). Either way, in this realm of creative freedom, the use of capitalization is up to the author and I don’t think Amanda is losing her audience because of her style. In fact, some of her readers may find her avant-garde style of typing to be empowering.

      In the spirit of critique – you may want to proofread your comments so that your mistypings do not detract from your credibility. And you might want to work on the way you dish out feedback. Remember Amanda has battled bullying and being the victim – she doesn’t need someone critiquing her voice.

      Thanks for reading Amanda’s blog – I hope it has inspired you in some way!

      Becky

  5. Beck says:

    I agree with Becky… What an eloquent response Becky!

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