#1 – be amanda

commandment #1 – be amanda

be amanda. it’s such a simple concept, isn’t it? not quite. if it were, then it wouldn’t be one of my 12 commandments.

you see, being yourself is something that i think a lot of people struggle with, me included. there was a time in my life a few years ago when i had a really hard time being myself. this was at the beginning of my freshman year of college. i’ll admit, for myself, it was easier pretending to be someone that i  wasn’t than being myself and getting made fun of for it.  it was clearly visible to everyone who knew me that i wasn’t “being amanda“.  i went to college telling myself that i would be no one but myself and i wouldn’t be afraid if i was different. however, this isn’t how it all went down.

for starters, my dorm room looked like it came straight out of a fairytale. there was pink & disney themed things everywhere. i won’t even talk about my alarm clock (friends, you know exactly the one i’m talking about!) i’m sure my roommate was so embarrassed of me! i laugh about it now, because my room really WAS a LITTLE bit intense. did it belong to a 4 year old or an 18 year old?! that’s just who i was at that time. i soon learned that i WAS different and i was afraid. this is when i transformed myself to be what people wanted. i felt like i had to change to be accepted.

long story short, this plan backfired on me. i changed my look. i became obsessed with the tanning booth. i drank at least 4-5x a week. i had never been so unhappy in my entire life. i knew this wasn’t who i was. i was NOT being amanda. it got really bad. i lived a lie for a year and a half before i removed myself from the situation.

the lessons i learned from myself during that time are worth every tear that i shed (and there were a lot of tears that year). i wouldn’t go back and change a thing because my experiences ultimately made me a stronger person.

i now know that you HAVE to be yourself in order to be happy. no one else can make you happy if you don’t accept yourself for who you are. because who you are is beautiful and amazing and worthy and no one can tell you differently. you just have to believe it in your heart. this is true about everyone.

each morning when i wake up, i remind myself to BE AMANDA. be yourself. it’s hard to do, but it will make your life easier in the long run. i promise. do you really want to spend the rest of your life PRETENDING? no? i didn’t think so. there isn’t enough time for that. it takes too much effort.

along with “being yourself”, i also think you should try to be the best YOU that you can be. set goals for yourself & actually follow through with them. these can be big goals or small goals. it doesn’t matter! but make sure they are achievable! setting unrealistic goals will only set you up for failure. i will set a small goal for myself today: to get the first part of my independent study finished. i know i can do it! what is YOUR goal for the day? the week? the year?

“to be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human can fight and never stop fighting.”

.xox amanda.